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She became Muslim but her family do not know and they want her to marry a non-Muslim

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I embraced Islam about two or three years ago, Alhamdullilah. Actually, one guy in my university influenced me to Islam. We used to study together in the university. and we both started liking each other and we wanted to marry. since my parents are kafir, they disagreed at all with this relationship and his parents also disagreed with the relationship. Now, my parents don't know that I am muslim now, I follow it secretly. I want to marry this guy and follow islamic marriage life afterwards. I don't want to marry somebody from their caste (kafir!), and my parents wants me to go back home and marry somebody in their caste. Is it necessary for both of our parents to agree with our marriage. Can we marry each other without their knowlege or permission now and tell them later? I fear that they will die the day they hear that I am muslim too since they hate muslims. I don't know how to convince them. Do I have to convince them for the marriage or can I just go against their wish. Please tell me if there was any stories during sahaba's time and what was the solution. I relly need help.</div>
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Praise be to Allaah.Firstly:<br />
Before answering your question, we would like to congratulate you for becoming Muslim. This is the final religion which Allaah has chosen for all of mankind, and He sent the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to be a bringer of glad tidings and a warner to all people. Many of those whom Allaah has guided have entered this religion before you, and many have been deprived of it because of their stubbornness and pride. So you should always be grateful to Allaah for having brought you out of the darkness of kufr and ignorance into the light of Tawheed and knowledge. You have to learn the rulings of Islam so that you will become more convinced of your choice and so that Allaah may make your heart steadfast in adhering to Islam.<br />
Secondly:<br />
The fact that you are new in Islam does not prevent us from telling you that this religion brought important rulings by means of which the Muslim can protect his religious commitment, mind, wealth, honour and lineage. Hence there are things that are forbidden in order to protect these things, and there are things that are enjoined for the same reason. There are two things that have to do with your question:<br />
In order to protect honour and lineage, Islam forbids mixing between the sexes, and it forbids a man to be alone with a woman or to touch her with his hand, let alone anything that is more serious than that, namely the sin of zina (adultery or fornication). Hence we regard a woman as a precious jewel which should not be treated as a cheap product – as is the case in the kaafir nations and the fools among the Muslims who follow them – in advertisements, newspapers and magazines. Women have an important role which awaits them, that of wife and mother.<br />
The second matter has to do with protecting a woman’s religious commitment. Allaah has forbidden marriage of a Muslim woman to a kaafir man. This is something that is proven in the Qur’aan and Sunnah and by scholarly consensus.<br />
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: <br />
It is not permissible for a kaafir to marry a Muslim woman, according to the texts and scholarly consensus. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):<br />
<i>“O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them; Allaah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”</i><br />
<i>[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]</i><br />
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir, according to the texts and scholarly consensus, as stated above, even if he is originally a kaafir and not an apostate (from Islam). Hence if a kaafir man marries a Muslim woman, the marriage is invalid and they must be separated. But if he becomes Muslim and wants to marry her, that can only be done with a new marriage contract. End quote.<br />
<i>Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen</i>, 12/138-140<br />
Thirdly:<br />
In order for the marriage contract to be valid, there must be a wali (guardian) for the woman, but it is not permissible for a kaafir to act as the wali of a Muslim woman, and there is no difference of scholarly opinion on this point.<br />
Ibn Qudaamah said:<br />
As for a kaafir, he cannot be the wali of a Muslim woman under any circumstances, according to the consensus of the scholars, including Maalik, al-Shaafa’i, Abu ‘Ubayd and as-haab al-ra’y. Ibn al-Mundhir said: There is consensus on this point among all those from whom we acquired knowledge.<br />
<i>Al-Mughni</i>, 7/71<br />
Even in a situation such as yours, there has to be a wali for the purpose of marriage. If no one among your family is Muslim, then whoever acts in the stead of the ruler should arrange your marriage for you, namely the Muslim qaadi (judge) or mufti or Shaykh of an Islamic centre or imam of a mosque.<br />
You do not have to ask your father’s permission to get married because he has no authority over you as a wali. Once the marriage contract is done, it is permissible to keep the news from your parents, and you do not have to inform them.<br />
Fourthly:<br />
Even if the wali is a Muslim, it is not permissible for him to force his daughter to marry someone whom she does not like. Islam makes the woman’s consent one of the essentials of the marriage contract, and the contract is not valid if she objects. If it is proven that she objects then the Muslim qaadi should give her the choice between continuing the contract or annulling it.<br />
Just as it is not permissible for both parents or one of them to force his son to marry someone whom he does not like, so too Allaah has not made the approval of the parents or one of them a condition of the son’s marriage contract being valid. But the son should be kind to his parents if he refuses to do what they want. He has to do his utmost to win their approval of his marriage to the one he wants. <br />
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:<br />
It is not permissible for a father to force his son to marry a woman whom he does not like, whether that is because of some fault in her religious commitment or a physical defect. How many people have regretted forcing their children to marry women whom they do not want, saying, “You will marry her because she is my brother’s daughter” or “because she is from our tribe” and so on. The son is not obliged to accept, and it is not permissible for the parents to force him. Similarly, if he wants to marry a righteous woman but the father does not want him to, the son is not obliged to obey him. If the son is pleased with a righteous wife and the father says, “Do not marry her,” he has the right to marry her even if his father objects, because the son is not obliged to obey his father in any matter in which that will not harm the father but will benefit the son. If we say that the son is obliged to obey his father in all things, even in matters where there is benefit for the son and no harm for the father, then many negative consequences would result from that. But in situations such as this, the son should be diplomatic with his father, and be kind to him as much as he can and try to convince him as much as he can. End quote<br />
<i>Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah</i>, 2/240, 241<br />
Fifthly:<br />
You have to do as much as you can to save your parents and bring them into Islam, so that they and you will find happiness in this world and in the Hereafter. You can use many ways to call them to Islam, such as sending them e-mails, for example, without them knowing that the messages are coming from you. You could give their address to some of those who are specialized in Islamic knowledge and da’wah to undertake this mission on your behalf. You can also avail yourself of the nearest Islamic centre to their home so that some daa’iyahs can visit them and call them to Islam. You can also use the regular mail to send them tapes and booklets that will tell them about the Islamic religion.<br />
You know more about their situation than others. Perhaps if you tell them that you have become Muslim, that may open the door for them to enter Islam too. If that is the case, then tell them, but if you think that this will not do any good, and that it may have a negative effect on them or it might cause difficulties for you, then do not tell them. You can delay that for a while until Allaah opens their hearts. Seek the help of Allaah and turn to Him with du’aa’, sincerely asking Him to guide them.<br />
We ask Allaah to make you steadfast in adhering to this religion, and we ask Him to guide your parents to Islam.<br />
And Allaah knows best.</div>
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She became Muslim but her family do not know and they want her to marry a non-Muslim

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WHY MUSLIMS CANNOT MARRY NON-MUSLIMS

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: justify;">1. Qur’an Prohibits Muslims to marry unbelievers.</div><div style="text-align: right;"><a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTO2_RY72E8GGLMTN7P288Ml8xoHZdtc2oDb2hEuZ231HJ3V4zA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" height="132" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTO2_RY72E8GGLMTN7P288Ml8xoHZdtc2oDb2hEuZ231HJ3V4zA" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;">Qur’an mentions in Surah Baqarah chapter 2 verse 221 “Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe: a slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman even though she allure you. Nor Marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever even though he allure you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His signs clear to mankind: that they may receive admonition”.</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;">2.           This life is a test for Here-after: According to the Qur’an in Surah Mulk chapter 67 verse 2 “He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed, and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving”. </div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">3.     Concept of Salvation cannot differ amongst Life-Partners:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The ultimate goal and salvation for every muslim is to attain paradise in the Hereafter. A true husband or a wife will also want his/her spouse to attain paradise in the here-after. How can two life-partners live together if their ultimate goal i.e. Salvation differs? Or if the ways that they have chosen to lead to this goal are different? Such a marriage would be like a vehicle whose one tyre is that of a cycle while the other tyre is that of a truck. How will the vehicle run smoothly? Similarly if the beliefs or concepts  of salvation of the spouses differ then how can they live in congruence and achieve marital harmony?</div></div></div>

WHY MUSLIMS CANNOT MARRY NON-MUSLIMS

1. Qur’an Prohibits Muslims to marry unbelievers. Qur’an mentions in Surah Baqarah chapter 2 verse 221 “Do not marry unbelieving women until...

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Her father refuses to marry her to this young man and she loves him

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fe0607; font-size: 18.3333px;">I have a problem and I hope you can help me. A young man of good character who is religiously committed came to propose marriage to me, and he is financially well off too, and to be frank, I love him. But my father refused for reasons that are not convincing; he says that he does not like the people of the city that this young man comes from!<br />
I prayed istikhaarah, asking Allaah for guidance, but I do not know what to do. Please advise me, may Allaah reward you. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px;">Praise be to Allaah.</span><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">Do not worry, every problem may be insignificant except a problem concerning one’s religious commitment. May Allaah not cause our problems to be concerning our religious commitment.  </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">The Muslim knows that this world is the arena of trials and tests, and that when he accepts trials and tests and faces them with patience and acceptance of the will and decree of Allaah, then they become gifts for him from the Lord of the Worlds, which cause him to rise in status and expiate his sins. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">Imam Ahmad (21833) and Abu Dawood (3090) narrated from Abu Khaalid al-Sulami (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he went out to visit one of his brothers, and he heard that he was sick. He entered upon him and said: “I came as a visitor, to visit you in your sickness and bring glad tidings.” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">He said: “How can you combine all of that?”  </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">He said: “I came out, intending to visit you, then I heard that you were sick, so now I am visiting you in your sickness. And I give you the glad tidings of something that I heard from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: “If Allaah decrees that a person should reach a status that his deeds cannot help him to reach, He tests him with regard to his physical health or his wealth or his child, then He causes him to be patient until he reaches that status that He has decreed for him.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Saheehah (2599) on the basis of corroborating reports. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">You should note that Allaah has not prescribed for a Muslim woman to arrange her own marriage, rather He has stipulated that her wali (guardian) should be the one who arranges her marriage. He has prescribed that out of mercy towards His slaves, so as protect their interests which may be lost whenever people become negligent with regard to that. You must have heard the stories of marriages based on that (love marriages) and how their lives turned into distress and regret, if the marriage even survived. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">But we do not need to learn from experience in order to obey the command of our Lord or to know the benefits, both spiritual and worldly, that that brings to us. The role of the believer when faced with the command of Allaah is to say “We hear and we obey.” See questions no. <a href="http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=2127&ln=eng" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">2127</span></a> and <a href="http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=31119&ln=eng" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">31119</span></a> for the conditions of the wali for marriage. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">What we advise you is not to insist on what you think is right and do not let emotion sway you when making decisions. Do not look at your problem alone, rather seek the help of a sincere and trustworthy family member or relative, who knows you and him, and who is liked by your father and whose opinion your father trusts. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">Then pray istikhaarah to Allaah and remember, when you ask your Lord for guidance by praying istikhaarah, turning sincerely to Him and expressing your need for His help and guidance, that Allaah decrees nothing but good for His slave, whether His decree is in accordance with what you like and want or not. For the believer’s affair is all good. So be content with whatever Allaah decrees for you. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">You can also seek the help of someone who can convince your father to let you marry the one you want, if his religious commitment and character are as you describe. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">In order to benefit from that, you have to give your father time to think, and so not try to force your father to make a decision too soon. In other words, I do not advise you to insist too strongly on marrying this suitor from the outset. Do not try to start an argument with your father which may lead to him forbidding you and being harsh. Rather you should only deal with him in a gentle manner, and give him the impression that you accept his decision, such as saying, “You are my father and my guardian, and you know what is in my best interests, so I hope that you will think again,” and other such words that leave room for discussion. Do not seek a hasty answer from your father. The longer it takes, the more likely there will be a solution, in sha Allaah. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">But before and after all that, I think that you have the best solution in sha Allaah, which is undoubtedly more beneficial than all that we have mentioned above, and I do not think that it will fail. That is turning to Allaah and making du’aa’. I do not mean only saying du’aa’, I mean turning to Him and beseeching Him, asking Him for goodness, relief and help. When Allaah sees that you are sincere in your du’aa’, He will give you want you want, by His leave. How can it be otherwise when He is the Most Kind, Most Generous? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">Although you are feeling so critical of your father and regarding him as the one who is preventing you from marrying this man, we would not like you to forget that the relationship between a man and a non-mahram woman can only reach this degree of emotional attachment if there has been a great deal of neglect concerning the sacred limits set by Allaah, with regard to speaking, promising and looking. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">You have to fear Allaah in secret and in the open, and beware of losing your religious commitment, which is the true calamity. A husband may come and go, wealth may be acquired and lost, but all of that is insignificant in comparison to losing your religious commitment. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">If either of you has done any such thing, then hasten to repent from it. Allaah may be withholding your father’s acceptance until He sees that you are both sincere in adhering to His Commands. Doesn’t Allaah say in His Book: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things”<br />
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">And Allaah knows best. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px; text-align: justify;">For further advice and rulings on your problem, please refer to questions no. <a href="http://ourislamicweb.blogspot.com/2010/10/she-wants-to-marry-person-she-loves-but.html">6666</a>,7777, 8888 and <a href="http://ourislamicweb.blogspot.com/2010/10/her-father-is-refusing-to-arrange-her.html">9999</a>.</div><br />
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</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18.3333px;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">And Allaah knows best.</span></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"> </span></span></div><div><br />
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Her father refuses to marry her to this young man and she loves him

I have a problem and I hope you can help me. A young man of good character who is religiously committed came to propose marriage to me, and ...

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Her father is refusing to arrange her marriage on the grounds that she has to finish her studies. Is his guardianship waived thereby?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #aeaeae; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.8333px;"><span class="question" style="color: #fe0607; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><b>I am a seventeen year old girl, and I became Muslim a year ago. My father is Muslim and my mother is Christian. My father does not let me wear niqaab and he won’t let me get married until I finish my higher studies. On one occasion I ran away from home and did not return until my father promised in front of the imam of the mosque and in the presence of two witnesses, that I could wear niqaab and get married to someone who is compatible with me. But my father did not fulfil his promise and he is refusing until now to arrange my marriage. Please note also that he prays sometimes and not at other times, and sometimes he drinks alcohol.<br />
Now my question is: is his guardianship of me waived, because I want to get married and there is someone who wants to propose marriage?</b></span><span class="question" style="color: #fe0607; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal;">.<br />
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<div id="separator" style="background-image: url(http://www.islamqa.com/misc/separator.jpg); background-position: 50% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; color: #aeaeae; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.8333px; height: 5px; width: 784px;"></div><div arabic'="" class="answer" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin-top: 10px;" traditional=""><b>Praise be to Allaah.</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Firstly: </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>We congratulate you on your becoming Muslim, and we ask Allaah to increase you in faith, knowledge and piety. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Secondly: </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>It is obligatory for a woman to cover her face before non-mahram men, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. We have explained the evidence for that in the answer to question no. <a href="http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&QR=11774" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">11774</span></a>. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>It is not permissible for a father to prevent his daughter from wearing niqaab. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Thirdly: </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>If the father is negligent with regard to prayer and drinks alcohol sometimes, then he is a faasiq (evildoer), and whether he may act as a guardian with regard to marriage is a matter concerning which the fuqaha’ differed. The view of the Shaafa’is and Hanbalis is that it is not valid. The Hanafi fuqaha’ are of the view that the guardianship of a faasiq is valid, and this is the well known view among the Maalikis, but they regard the guardianship of a faasiq as makrooh (disliked). See: Nihaayat al-Muhtaaj (6/738), al-Insaaf (8/73), Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen (3/55), Haashiyat al-Dasooqi (2/230) and Manh al-Jaleel (3/289). </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Based on the view that his guardianship is not valid, then guardianship passes to the next closest male relative on the father’s side. The most qualified people to arrange a woman’s marriage after her father are: her grandfather, then her son, then her full brother, then a brother through the father, then his sons, then paternal uncles, then their sons, then the father’s paternal uncles, then the ruler (or qaadi – judge). </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>See: al-Mughni (7/346). </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Fourthly: </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>If a guardian refuses to marry a woman to one who is compatible with her and whose religious commitment and character are good, then he is preventing her marriage, and guardianship passes from him to whoever is closest. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: What is meant by preventing marriage is not allowing a woman to marry one who is compatible with her, if she agrees to that and if each one wants to marry the other. Al-Ma’qil ibn Yasaar said: A sister of mine married a man, then he divorced her. When her ‘iddah was over he came and proposed marriage to her (again), and I said to him: “She married you, was intimate with you and honoured you, then you divorced her, and now you come to propose marriage again! No, by Allaah, she will never go back to you.” He was a man with whom there was nothing wrong, and she wanted to go back to him. Then Allaah revealed these words (interpretation of the meaning): </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>“do not prevent them from marrying”</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>[al-Baqarah 2:232]  </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>I said: Now I will do it, O Messenger of Allaah. He said: So he married her to him. Narrated by al-Bukhaari. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>So if she wants to marry a specific person who is compatible, and he wants to marry her to someone else who is also compatible, and refuses to marry her to the one she wants, then he is preventing her marriage. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>But if she asks to marry someone who is not compatible, then he has the right to prevent her from doing that, and he is not (willfully) preventing her in that case. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>End quote from al-Mughni (9/373) </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: When a woman reaches the age of puberty and if a man proposes marriage whose religious commitment, attitude and compatibility she approves of, and her guardian cannot find any fault in him that make him incompatible with her or prove this fault, then the woman’s guardian must accept his request to marry her, and if he refuses to do that, then he should be reminded of the obligation of taking care of the woman under his care. If he insists on refusing after that, then his guardianship is waived and it passes to the next closest male relative on the father’s side. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>End quote from Fataawa al-Shaykh Muhamamd ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him), (10/97). </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the guardian refuses to arrange the marriage of a woman to a suitor who is compatible in terms of his religious commitment and good character, then guardianship passes to the next closest male relative on the father’s side, then the next closest. If they refuse to arrange her marriage, as usually happens, then guardianship passes to the shar’i judge, and the shar’i judge should arrange the woman’s marriage. If such a case comes to him and he knows that the woman’s guardians refused to arrange her marriage, then he is obliged to arrange her marriage, because he has general guardianship so long as family guardianship was not achieved. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>The fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) mentioned that if the guardian repeatedly refuses compatible suitors, then he becomes a faasiq (evildoer) as a result; he is no longer regarded as being of good character and his guardianship is waived. According to the well known view of Imam Ahmad, he is no longer qualified to lead prayers, and it is not valid for him to lead a group of Muslims in prayer. This is a serious matter. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>As we have referred to above, some people reject the suitors who come to propose marriage to the women over whom Allaah has given them guardianship, even though they are compatible, but the girl may be too shy to go to the qaadi (judge) to ask him to arrange her marriage. This is something that really happens. But the woman should weigh up the pros and cons, and see which is worse: staying without a husband and letting this guardian who fools about and is careless control her life, then when she grows old and has no desire for marriage, he marries her off, or approaching the qaadi with a request to arrange her marriage, which is her shar’i right. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Undoubtedly  the second alternative is preferable, which is going to the qaadi and asking him to arrange her marriage, because she is entitled to that, and because going to the qaadi and having the qaadi arrange her marriage is in the interests of other women as well, because other women will come as she has come, and because her coming to the qaadi is a rebuke to those wrongdoers who do wrong to the women whom Allaah has placed under their guardianship by refusing to marry them to compatible suitors. So this serves three interests: </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; margin-left: 36pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>-         The woman’s own interests, so that she will not be left without a husband</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; margin-left: 36pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>-         The interests of others, as it will open the door for other women who are waiting for someone to set a precedent for them to follow</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; margin-left: 36pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>-         Preventing these unjust guardians who are controlling the lives of their daughters and other women whom Allaah has placed under their guardianship, on the basis of their whims and wishes. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>It also serves the purpose of establishing the command of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be tribulation in the land and a great deal of corruption.” </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>And it also serves a specific interest, which is making it easy for those men who propose marriage to women, whose are compatible in terms of religious commitment and character. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>End quote from Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/148). </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen also said: Would that we could reach a level where a woman whose father refuses to marry her to one who is compatible in terms of character and religious commitment would dare to go to the qaadi so that he might say to her father: Arrange her marriage or I will arrange it myself, or a guardian other than you will arrange it, because this (complaining to the qaadi) is the girl’s right if her father prevents her from marrying and this is a shar’i right. Would that we could reach this level, but most girls are prevented by shyness from doing that. End quote from al-Liqa’ al-Shahri. See also the answer to question no. <a href="http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&QR=10196" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">10196</span></a>. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>If you father refuses to arrange your marriage to one whom you like, then he is preventing your marriage, and guardianship passes to the next closest male relative on the father’s side, in the order that we have mentioned above. If they refuse to arrange your marriage, or if there are no relatives, then guardianship passes to the Islamic qaadi (judge), and his place is taken by the Islamic Centre in countries where there are no Islamic qaadis. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>It is not permissible under any circumstances for you to get married without a guardian, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a guardian.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1011) and Ibn Maajah (1881), from the hadeeth of al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2709). </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>We ask Allaah to make you steadfast and to guide and forgive your father. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify; unicode-bidi: embed;"><b>And Allaah knows best.</b></div></div></div>

Her father is refusing to arrange her marriage on the grounds that she has to finish her studies. Is his guardianship waived thereby?

I am a seventeen year old girl, and I became Muslim a year ago. My father is Muslim and my mother is Christian. My father does not let me we...

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She wants to marry a person she loves but her family are refusing to let her

She wants to marry a person she loves but her family are refusing to let her

I have been talking to a guy that I have very stong feelings for, and now we are thinking of taking it to another level which is marriage. T...

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What is more stable in Islam, a love marriage or an arranged marriage?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Praise be to Allaah.  </span><br style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;" /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The issue of this marriage depends on the ruling on what came before it. If the love between the two parties did not transgress the limits set by Allaah or make them commit sin, then there is the hope that the marriage which results from this love will be more stable, because it came about as the result of the fact that each of them wanted to marry the other. </span><br />
If a man feels some attraction towards a woman whom it is permissible for him to marry her, and vice versa, there is no answer to the problem except marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624) Al-Sindi said, as noted in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah: <br />
The phrase “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage” may be understood to refer to two or to more than two. What this means is that if there is love between two people, that love cannot be increased or made to last longer by anything like marriage.  If there is marriage as well as that love, that love will increase and grow stronger every day.” <br />
But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as when they meet and are alone together and kiss one another, and other haraam actions, then it will never be stable, because they committed actions that go against sharee’ah and because they have built their lives on things that will have the effect of reducing blessings and support from Allaah, for sin is a major factor in reducing blessings, even though some people think, because of the Shaytaan’s whispers, that falling in love and doing haraam deeds makes marriage stronger.   <br />
Moreover, these illicit relationships that take place before marriage will be a cause to make each party doubtful about the other. The husband will think that his wife may possibly have a similar relationship with someone else, and even if he thinks it unlikely, he will still be troubled by the fact that his wife did do something wrong with him. And the same thoughts may occur to the wife too, and she will think that her husband could possibly have an affair with another woman, and even if she thinks it unlikely, she will still be troubled by the fact that her husband did something wrong with her. <br />
So each partner will live in a state of doubt and suspicion, which will ruin their relationship sooner or later. <br />
The husband may condemn his wife for having agreed to have a relationship with him before marriage, which will be upsetting for her, and this will cause their relationship to deteriorate. <br />
Hence we think that if a marriage is based upon an illicit premarital relationship, it will most likely be unstable and will not be successful. <br />
With regard to arranged marriages where the family chooses the partner, they are not all good and not all bad. If the family makes a good choice and the woman is religious and beautiful, and the husband likes her and wants to marry her, then there is the hope that their marriage will be stable and successful. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged the one who wants to get married to look at the woman. It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1087; classed as hasan by al-Nasaa’i, 3235) <br />
But if the family make a bad choice, or they make a good choice but the husband does not agree with it, then this marriage is most likely doomed to failure and instability, because the marriage that is based on lack of interest usually is not stable.<br />
<br />
And Allaah knows best.</div></div>

What is more stable in Islam, a love marriage or an arranged marriage?

Praise be to Allaah. The issue of this marriage depends on the ruling on what came before it. If the love between the two parties did not t...

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Are love Marriages allowed is Islam?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b>                                                         PRAISE TO BE ALLAH</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large; font-weight: bold;">It</span><b> is <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">not</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">allowed <b> </b></span><b>in Islam to love before marriage  it is batter to love after you marry,</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><b>but it is sunant to see to whom you are going to marry,you can talk to her/him not not in private their should be hre parent mother or father  but it is not allowed to enjoy or go garden,cenima etc..</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>PLEASE WATCH VIDEO ALSO.</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" class="b-hbp-video b-uploaded" frameborder="0" height="266" id="BLOGGER-video-ebe98e5ec2e185fc-7834" mozallowfullscreen="mozallowfullscreen" src="https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwRi_DjcXbe72pSSzUelzNSbysX1lKwysA7defVYW2s_uP4wFEs3ZALHSvqV3g1d2cUTGWEr-c4mIF8wnyefm33Y5FDfqYvWhRQN3buFAM6cXt3mUqTTZ4kZddYc28DKo_6V9U&origin=ourislamicweb.blogspot.com" webkitallowfullscreen="webkitallowfullscreen" width="320"></iframe></div></div>

Are love Marriages allowed is Islam?

PRAISE TO BE ALLAH It is not allowed in Islam to love before marriage it is b...

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